Don't lend money to others without thinking

不要轻易借钱

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http://book.sina.com.cn 2005年11月24日 16:27 新浪读书

连载:穷人缺什么   作者：古古   出版社:当代中国出版社

 

　　不到万不得已，你不要轻易向人借钱，也不要轻易借钱给人。这句话不太中听，却是一句大实话。

　　向人借钱，容易被人看白，引人疑虑，让人为难，不到万不得已，实在没有必要。而借钱给人，也是件隐患极大的事。

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　 　其实，借钱本身并不可怕，银行就是个专门借钱的地方，银行放贷就等于是借钱给人，到时候不仅要收回本钱，还要加上利息，银行就是靠这个赚钱的。正因为银 行是个专门借钱的机构，所以它有一整套专业的办法，放贷之前要考察你的资质，还一定要有担保、抵押，跑得了和尚跑不了庙，哪怕你最后还不起钱了，他也不至 于亏本。

　　但私人之间借钱就不一样了，凭的全是人情，既没有可行性论证，又没有法律认可的抵押或担保，有的甚至连借条都没有一张，胸脯一拍，搞掂。痛快是痛快，但事后若有麻烦，那麻烦就不是一般的大了。

　 　说句良心话，借钱不还的人，也并非都是恶意赖账。能够向你开口借钱，你也能够放心地把钱借给他，这样的关系，多半不是一般的关系，要么沾亲带故，要么有 利益上的牵连，要么就是有特别让你感动或者信赖之处，不然你怎么可能把钱拿出来？你能拿出来，至少在当时，你一定是相信能够收回来的。

　　但是后来为什么变了呢？往往借钱的时候他是孙子，还钱的时候，嘿嘿，你成孙子了。就因为你不是专业放债的人。你不专业，你就要犯错误。

　 　你不专业，你就把感情当成了抵押，以为有了这些感情，还钱就有了保证。殊不知，钱是有价的，感情是无价的。无价的东西，说值钱它就值钱，说不值钱它就一 钱不值。所以，感情是世上最重的东西，也是世上最轻的东西，你把实实在在的银子置于这样一个虚无的东西上，本身就风险极大。

　 　借钱的人，动机本来就很复杂。有的人借钱确实是出于善意，借的时候就想着一定要还，后来他们确实还了。这样的人你借钱给他没错。但有的人借钱本身就出于 恶意，借的时候就没想着有还的一天，纯粹是诈，骗几个算几个，遇到这种人，钱一出手就等于肉包子打狗了。还有的人，开始是出于善意，以为自己能还，但是后 来确实还不起了，不是不想还，是确实还不起。开始可能他还在想办法还，后来实在没办法了，也只好把话给你挑明，“实在对不起，要钱没有，要命有一条”，你 能拿他怎么办？

　　借钱容易还钱难啊。借钱的人很容易开口，因为 大家感情好，才向你借钱，借钱是信得过你，看得起你。而讨债的人却很难开口，因为讨债总是在对方不愿偿还或者无力偿还时发生的，讨债就成了落井下石，是破 坏感情，是忘恩负义，对方即使嘴上不说，心里也会冒出一句“想当初……”私人之间的借贷关系之所以能够成立，就因为双方当初有千丝万缕的联系，这些千丝万 缕一旦变质就成了罗网，让你陷在当中动弹不得。一旦债到了非讨不可的地步，感情就成了一具僵尸，不仅没有实在的温暖，而且恐怖，难看，甚至可能反手一爪把 你掐死。

　　且不说你的钱能不能悉数讨回，就算是你讨回来了，哪 怕钱没有损失分毫，但人情已经损失殆尽，恩人反而变成了仇人。还钱的人，就算他还了你的钱，也不会还你的情，不仅不会因为你在危难的时候帮助了他而心存感 激，反而因为你忘恩负义，你不给面子，你帮人没有帮到底而记恨在心。

　　借钱给人，最大的危险不是失去钱，而是永远失去了情，做好事反而把人给得罪了。

　　杨绛在回忆钱钟书的文章里说，钱先生从来不借钱给人，凡有人借钱，一律打对折奉送。借一万，就给你五千，再加上一句“不用还了”。钱先生的睿智通达，真是惊人

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2 楼 zerostar88 2009-08-21  

How to Lend Money to a Friend

Everyone has had to deal with a friend who says, "Can I borrow some money? I promise I'll pay you back." Whether you decide to lend them the money is up to you, but here are some steps to dealing with the amount of money that they ask for.
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[edit] Steps

   1. Decide if the person is trustworthy or not.
          * If the person is untrustworthy, then it’s a good idea to only lend them a small amount of money or none at all.
          * If the person is trustworthy, then you should take into consideration how much money they’re asking for.
   2. Take the amount into consideration.
          * If they ask for ten dollars or less, you can then lend them money and just wait until they pay you back.
          * If they ask for over twenty dollars, then you should remind that they owe you money everyday until they have paid.
          * If a person asks to borrow fifty dollars or more, you should ask for some type of collateral in exchange for you lending them money.
   3. Write down a reminder somewhere that indicates how much money people owe you.
   4. Collect the money.


[edit] Tips

    * Never forget who owes you what amount of money. Even a couple quarters can start adding up to some serious cash.
    * Use some kind of journal to help you keep track of who owes you what.
    * Collateral should be an item of something of equal or greater value than what you lent out
    * Use a third-party loan administration company to handle the loan transaction. For a small fee, they will provide you with correct paper work and automatically transfer payments electronically.
    * Consider that if you lend someone money and you never see them again, it may be a good thing.


[edit] Warnings

    * Don’t steal the money back. It will make you look like a thief and possibly damage a friendship. Plus that's passive-aggressive. Either ask for it back like you mean it or do not expect it from them.
    * It’s your money so always be aware of the people you’re lending to.
    * Consider that someone always asking you for money is not learning how to use their own money properly and sees you as a bank. They need to grow up and manager their own money better. Encourage them to take some classes.


[edit] Related wikiHows

    * How to Write a Letter to a Friend of the Opposite Sex
    * How to Get Someone to Tell You a Secret
    * How to Have Respectful Friends
    * How to Identify a False Friend

Articles for You to Write
Here is a list of suggested articles that have not yet been written. You can help by researching and writing one of these articles.

    * How to Write a Loan Letter
    * How to Collect Money from Friends
    * How to Write a Reminder Letter

1 楼 zerostar88 2009-08-21  

How to lend money to a friend

Sudhanshu N | January 20, 2005

 

Lending to friends is more than just the money.

There are years of secrets and togetherness at stake.

I assume you will only explore lending money only if you know this individual for a number of years.

But the bottom line is, loss of money hurts and it hurts bad.

The way out? Approach it like you would any other commercial transaction: difficult, but essential!

Be clear from your side

Ideally, you should have said no, but you didn't.

Before you proceed to dive into your funds, here's a reality check:

    * Do you have the finances?
    * Are you sure you don't need them?
    * Are you comfortable divulging your financial status?
    * Will lending the amount cause a rift in your family?
    * How much will lending cost you? If it is an interest-free loan, compare it to a competitive market return (remember, if it is an interest-free loan, and assuming you get your money back, it won't cover inflation).
    * Are you willing to write off that amount as a gift?

If your answers are leaning towards the negative, do yourself a favor. Say no. You don't want to land in a situation where you end up raising debt thanks to misplaced magnanimity!

But if you have answered all in the affirmative, fine. Proceed, but with the action plan enumerated below:

Investigate

No one likes to be Scrooge. But then, no one likes what is rightfully theirs to be snatched away either!

It is your hard-earned money we are talking about. And even if it is not hard-earned, it is yours. It is your fundamental right to know what the money is being doled out for.

Ask about:

    * What the money is required for. You don't want to fund his/ her vague membership bills or hi-fi living expenses, do you? Or, worse, drugs?
    * If it is for a business start-up, do the ground work. Just because an idea looks great, it doesn't necessarily mean it is an effective predictor of future earnings!

Benefits

    * You will know if the loan is going to be used for something sensible (like a house) or something of return value (like a professional degree or MBA fees). Or not.
    * If it is a lifestyle expense, pull the brakes.

Finances -- deliverables and receivables

Start with how you will actually release the loan. The money lent should always been in the form of a cheque.

A cashed cheque is a major proof that you have given the money. Supplement it further by cutting the cheque for whatever it is directly, so you have better control of situation.

Confused? Let's say he needs the money for a medical emergency. Offer to cut the cheque directly in the name of the hospital. This way, you know the funds are not being misappropriated, and you have the debit in your bank statements.

Avoid giving cash. In the event that you have no option but to give cash – ensure that there is a witness to the actual tendering of the money. This will resolve future debates as to if the transaction ever took place!

Now, the receivables. How will you get it back?

What payment terms? Are you giving him/ her an interest-free loan?

Principal free? I doubt it, unless you are in the league of Azim Premji.

A flash tip: make sure that even if it is an interest-free loan, you break the principal into a number of monthly installments. This will reiterate the fact that he has an obligation to you and is not a joy ride at your expense.

A smart approach is to create a joint savings account. Ensure s/ he deposits money there regularly. You can then withdraw the amount at predetermined dates. This has multiple advantages -- it avoids the inconvenience of sending reminders if s/ he forgets to pay. You get paid every month, and the credit/ debits leave a confirmation trail.

Get the following cleared upfront:

    * A specified due date of repayment.
    * Alternate dates if there are insufficient funds.
    * If interest is being charged. The rate and structure -- fixed or floating.
    * The date on which the finance begins to apply.

Most important, please document this.
Document! Document! Document!

Have you ever given a thought as to why everything sign up for in cyberspace, like transmitting credit card numbers, even a rediffmail account, requires your digital signature (or password), and is protected through the use of encryption?

So that your personal and financial information is protected from unauthorised access, use or disclosure.

Money is as (or more) vital as information! So what is stopping you from applying the same prudence here, too?

Have a lending agreement prepared by your lawyer. This will make it crystal clear to you and your friend what the terms and conditions are.

Please ensure that the same is completed and duly signed manually by both of you.

Most important, keep a number of hard copies, and keep them safe! Please don't forget to date the agreement.

Discuss what will happen in the event of business failure. Set limits and parameters, and incorporate those relevant clauses in your legal literature.

Incorporate the payment schedules, which are essentially timelines that describe when payments will be made, and whether those payments go to interest, principal or both as an annexure.

Insist on a promissory note too! A promissory note is a written promise to pay back -- simply put, an I O U. The little note goes a long way as it establishes the amount lent, the parties involved, the terms and conditions, and is an organised dated record of both your signatures!

Remember, the emphasis is to keep your documentation trail ongoing and substantial!

Also, your legal counsel should be an independent party who is not part of the business transaction.

I agree that getting him/ her to put the deal down in writing is the most difficult part.

But be creative. Blame it on your accountant/ prevalent tax laws. Say they are insisting and ensure all this happens before you release the money.

Once the money has flown, s/ he is on his/ her own turf and you will have no control on the situation.

I repeat. Don't be a pushover for mush. A promise sealed over a mere handshake is a pure recipe for disaster!
Benefits

    * Ensures that your legal terrain is safe. A signed document can be used as evidence in court.
    * The signing of the agreement enforces the fact that this is a business transaction to the borrowing parties, and must be repaid as agreed.

Collaterals

Comprehensive documentation will get you to court, but it may not get your money back!

Since neither of us have any intention of scrutinising our judicial system at this juncture, let us suffice with a security till the money comes back.

The security/ collateral can be anything from a house (if you are really blessed), car (strong potential) to even an expensive piece of jewellery (emphasis on a good sale value!).

Typically, a good collateral should cover a major part of your money.

But that may not be possible with his/ her present financial status.

Preferably, look at something whose value won't get eroded over a time frame (a car scores low here). Make sure your pal hasn't promised the same to someone else!

Benefits

Simple: S/ he has something of yours, you have something of his/ hers!

Handhold him/ her through all the possibilities

Sometimes, when we are clouded with financial pressure, we are not able to look at other possibilities objectively. So ensure your friend does so.

Make sure s/ he reviews all finances options in the market. Sometimes you just have to break the nasty habit of having him/ her run to you because your evolution from a shoulder to cry on to innovative money lender is very appealing!
This is not to say you should give him/ her the cold shoulder. In fact, you can help him/ her better. For starters, lenders are particular about the validity and reliability of documentation. Often, the form of finance will be determined by what is available.Help him/ her organise the same.If you know of a professional advisor, connect the two. This could be a reliable accountant or even a solicitor who, in turn, can help him/ her get access to the right fund managers.The reason this is listed last is because the chances of getting your friend off your back without hurting his/ her feelings are rather slim (be realistic!). But hope springs eternal!

Benefits

    * If one of these sources clicks, the credit department is shifted from you to the bank!
    * The commercial lender can also rustle up very innovative repayment schemes.
    * And he will love you for running around!

One last word. This article is based solely on one assumption: the money exchanging hands is a significant amount. Please don't draw up a document for a paltry sum!

None of us would have got through our swinging 20's otherwise!

Illustration: Dominic Xavier